As the Vent has evolved, I have tried to keep my loyal readers up to date on breaking news. I told you about the conception of our daughter, Brennan, in real time. And I broke the news of how Kennedy trounced Keffaufer in the 1956 Vice-presidential ballot, although admittedly the story was 45 years late, and wrong.

It is in that spirit of intrepidness that I break the following story: Until recently the PA State Senator where I lived was Dick Tilghman. He however retired unexpectedly a few months ago at age 81 to go do whatever 81 year old ex-senators do (a lot of surfing I’m told). Our State Representative, Connie Williams, ran for and won his seat. This left her seat vacant. There will be a special election to fill that seat on February 12, 2002. Since it is a special election, there is no primary. Also, everything about the election is legally required to have the word “special” before it, i.e. “Special” bumper stickers, “Special” negative ads, etc.

Since there is no primary, the nominees of each party are selected by the parties themselves. In this case, the Democrats, after reviewing a number of candidates, selected me to be their nominee. I am very honored and grateful for this opportunity. It goes a long way to make up for the whole “Being passed over for Joe Lieberman” thing that still grates me.

So I will be a candidate for the next 60 days or so. It will be an exciting time of me waking up everyone morning saying “how can I get votes today?,” and my neighbors waking up every day saying “Who the hell put ‘Leach is a Peach’ signs all over our garage?” Since the people who have selected me have placed a lot confidence in me, I feel it is my obligation to act mature and responsible throughout the campaign. For example, no more bunny slippers to court! Also, I have been told to be very careful about what I write in the Vents. In fact, I was given the following guidelines:

Things I cannot write about in the Vent:

A. Anything I’ve ever done, said or felt, from the beginning of time to the present.

B. Anything any other person has ever done, said or felt, from the beginning of time to the present.

C. Anything else, not covered by A or B.

But don’t despair, there are some things that I can still feel free to expound on at length. Here is that list:

Things I can write about in the Vent:

Them Sixers!!

Obviously, the Vents will be slightly less frequent over the next two months. However, I will certainly be gathering much excellent material for the future. If I win, I may even write a full length book: “Fear and Loathing in the Pennsylvania General Assembly.” In the meantime I will be doing what all candidates do. I will be going to pancake breakfasts, knocking on doors, denying stuff vigorously and threatening to sue, and mostly, raising money. So I’ll see you in 60 days when I write my next VENT, “The Crushing Defeat Diet.”

Tomorrow: How about them Sixers!!!???

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